See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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