3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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