pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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