Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
