Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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