I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
