i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize