Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize