I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
