I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
