Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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