Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
