my phone needs a breathalizer
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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