going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
