I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize