My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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