he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
