six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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