I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize