i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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