she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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