I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
