FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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