Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
