Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
