Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
