That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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