I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
