apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
