let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
