is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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