it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
