i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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