Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize