We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
