i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
