Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
