I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
