You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
