Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
