I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
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