At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
