she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
