went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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