a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
