I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
