Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
