what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
