I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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