he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
