WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
