We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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