i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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