okay pat passed out under dana's car
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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