It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
