Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
