yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
