I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
